Depression

Either I eat too much or I eat too little.

Either I sleep the day away or don’t sleep at all.

Either my room is a complete mess or it’s sparkling clean.

Either I do nothing all day or I try to do it all.

Either I feel too much or I feel nothing at all.

Either I’m exhausted or have too much energy.

Either I try to mask it or I let people see how fucked up I am.

Wanting to scream but can’t get a sound out.

Wanting to seek help but don’t want to feel like a burden.

Wanting to quit but not wanting to seem like a quitter.

Wanting to carry on but too afraid of what’s ahead.

Wanting to be hugged but also not wanting to be touched.

Wanting to sleep but too afraid to close my eyes.

Wanting to be with others but too afraid to let them in.

Because what if they leave.

Because what if they just want to hurt me.

Because what if I’m not good enough.

Because I’m tired of the cycle.

Because I’m tired of hurting.

Because I don’t know what to do.

Because I’m tired of being tired.

~KC